Tag Archives: hope

dinosaurs bring hope & God smiles.

i have been in washington for 2 months. i have finished week 7 of my internship. and completed 272 of 600 hours. i have been been with families through numerous pokes, tests and procedures, deaths, ah-ha moments, new diagnoses, and too many success stories to count. the kids and families i have spent time with have left a lasting impact on me. i will forever carry their faces and those tough conversations, in my heart. while trying situations and circumstances are ongoing, i found that i have to focus on supporting the child and family in the present, here and now moments. if i think about the long-term, the future, the prognosis of each child– i will not survive in this field. i have learned to take each day as it comes. because let me tell you, each day brings something new. prognoses take turns for the better, patients are discharged early, and kids that have been lying in bed for days or weeks are smiling, playing, and walking. holding on to hope is key.

the kids truly give me hope. i love that the hospital setting can’t stop them from being kids. on friday, i had a 6-year-old kiddo who attempted to use “the force” to bring his mom’s purse closer to him. i had to try so hard not to pee my pants in laughter and was immediately reminded of this great commercial:

this past week i switched to the outpatient clinics (hematology/oncology, endocrine, GI, neurology, & orthopedic) which is a completely different environment than the hospital. for the most part, the kiddos are feeling better. they come in for a period of time and then get to go home. one of my favorite parts about outpatient is watching the kids interact with each other. they play together- just like “normal” kids do. i have had the honor and pleasure playing with some of them- dinosaurs that fight lions, cities and mountains built from legos, holding baby dolls, magnadoodle drawings, and creating an immaculate road for Hot Wheels. i was lucky enough to meet a stuffed animal bunny named Snow White and was able to do a lab draw on the bunny. in turn, Snow White’s human counterpart felt much more comfortable for her own lab draw after seeing how well the bunny coped.

these are the moments that give me hope. and i am so blessed. each day, i’m reminded that i am exactly where God wants me to be. i sometimes wonder what my experience would have been like at the program i was also accepted at in SoCal. and then i am reminded about the opportunities i’ve had, the people i’ve met, and the perfectly laid out path that God has lead me on over the past 6 years…

decorative windows at the outpatient clinics.

“Behold the One who is beholding you, and smiling.” -Anthony De Mello

i can just imagine God listening to my questions and my doubts, and He is smiling. He has never let me down. He so clearly has a plan for my life. but as I begin to think about the next step in life, i wonder what a real job in the field looks like for me. my humanity forces me to ask questions that sometimes lead to doubt. will i even find a job? will it be here, in Washington? or at home, in California? will i have to wait months before i find one? or will i be lucky enough to find one right away? i don’t have answers to these questions. at least not right now. but God sure does. and i know He is grinning, from ear-to-ear, at the plans that He’s got in store. He smiles as He knows how my tender, worrisome heart gets caught up in planning details, attempting to grasp control of the future. and oh, how He loves us- despite all the questions, doubt, and disbelief.

so today, i choose to rest in His peace and His plan, with His warm smile shining down on me. and i pray the same for you.
amen.

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productively unproductive

hellooo april! how are you here already?!

the time is seriously FLYING by. anyone with me? well, as i’ve talked about in the last few posts, grad school is crazy busy right now. each week, it feels like the researching and writing is never ending. and i guess that’s what grad school’s all about… but it’s so hard to stay focused when the sun is shining and new blogs are discovered and everything within me wants to do ANYTHING but homework. and well, to be honest- today was one of those days :) i had every intention of finishing another assignment, but i just didn’t have it in me. so i decided that i was going to blog instead!  here’s what i researched and created today:

an anthropologie inspired collage!! (click to enlarge)

now you all know exactly what i am drooling over, so if any of you would like to send a nice gift to a poor grad student- all the work has been done for you! ;) ha! okay, anyways- almost all the blogs i follow have these great inspiration boards and picture collages. so i thought i’d give it a try as well. but that of course meant that i had to figure out HOW to do them. so after much time spent researching and playing with different collage generators, i found that Google’s Picasa had a really simple “program”. i used Picasa for all my picture storing/simple editing before i got my mac, so i’ve had lots of experience with it- but not this part! i had lots of fun playing around with background images and playing with all these lovely things i found on anthro’s website. it’s really unfortunate that i’m a student and can’t afford a single thing on there. well maybe that cute little key bottle opener, but that’s about it!

(all images found at anthropologie and the super cute sandals found here)

so aside from being busy with school, i’ve also been busy playing with this instagram app on my phone. i talked about it a little bit in my last post, but i seriously love it! it has such great filters for pictures, especially for someone like me who doesn’t know the first thing about editing pictures/making them look cool… here are a couple recent shots:

pretty sweet, huh? instagram’s neat because it’s almost like facebook where people can post pictures and if you’re “following” them, the pictures show up in a feed. i’m only following 3 people (3 wonderful people, might i add), and they are the only one’s following me :) so if you’re an instagram user, let me know so i can “follow” you… yikes- that sounds so creepy!

anyways, enough of the anthro craziness and the instagram following…

in the midst of the insanity of school there is one thing that keeps me going. and that is HOPE. there is hope in finishing an assignment, getting through a week, the semester, landing an internship, and eventually hope in the completion of my master’s. there is hope because of a God that loves and forgives. a God that is greater and more powerful than anything else there is. and i am forever on my knees thanking God for the hope he gives me each day. it is truly what keeps me going.

via brightsidephotos

hold on to hope. may it bring you the strength to get through the day, the week, or whatever it may be. my prayer for you is this- “may the God of hope fill you, with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” — Romans 15:13


hope in the advent season

i really felt the need to write all this in a separate post, as it was unfitting with the last… but i spent some time art journaling and listening to worship music tonight and was feeling so heavy thinking about situations of dear friends. i spent some time in prayer, and as tears fell and my heart ached, i found myself thanking God for His faithfulness. times are really tough for a lot of loved ones in my life- but i believe with my whole heart that God is in control. i believe that nothing is impossible and nothing is too hard for Him.

this song by Tommy Walker has been one of comfort and one that has brought me to my knees. i pray that these words meet you where you’re at. download the song on itunes or listen to it on youtube, but please listen to it. it’s amazing.

Lord I run to You
No one else will do
Lord in troubled times I will run straight to You
Though my heart and flesh may fail
You’re my very present help
My tower of strength
My portion evermore

Lord I run to You
No one else will do
Lord You said we’d face trouble pain and fears
But to be of good cheer be of good cheer
For You have overcome overcome the world

I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from
It comes from You Lord
You are the Maker of earth and Heaven
And there is nothing that’s too hard for You

 

i got to thinking and reflecting on the advent season we are entering into. this is the season of Christ’s coming. and He came to bring HOPE. in this first week of advent, we are reminded of that. God did not have it easy coming into this world. but His coming meant hope for every single one of us.

and while times are more challenging than we could ever imagine, i pray that we would all cling to the hope of Christ. He absolutely loves and adores you. as it says in Ephesians 3, His love is longer, wider, deeper, and higher than we can fathom. i pray that you can grasp that love- a love that surpasses knowledge. and that you are strengthened in your inner being by His power and Spirit. God is in control. nothing is impossible for Him. and He LOVES you more than words can describe. may His Spirit dwell in you and bring whatever it is that you need deep in your soul. amen.