Tag Archives: art journaling

growth in change: a post for [A Beautiful Mess]

— this past April, i had the privilege of writing for a dear friend’s blog (check it out here). this post was an honest display of my struggle with change and trusting in God’s plan. by His goodness and grace, i am excited to share the story of where God is taking me next. but first, i take time to remember where i have been. —

if you were to look through my art journal, you would find a common theme.

change.

i really don’t like it. and choose to deal with it through writing, painting, ripping paper, scribbling, painting more, ripping more magazines/paper/tape… you get it.

change means things are no longer in my own control.
and change means that i must fully put my trust in the Creator of the Universe.
and that scares me. because, well, i can’t control the Creator.

while change is inevitable, time and time again i have stood face-to-face with change, showing her my angriest face. and as a result of that, all i found was deep pain. the changes occurred, despite my efforts to stop them. at times, i felt like my heart was literally being torn in half. these changes were significant- friends getting married, graduating from college, moving to a new city, moving to a new state. and now i face the completion of my graduate program- which means redefining my identity as a student to an employee, a workin’ girl, a real adult (i think…).

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throughout all these experiences, i have been learning how to accept change with grace. i have also learned that i have serious control issues. it has become a bit of a joke among family and friends. i like being in charge and i like when things go my way. there are times when this control (or “organization”, as i like to call it) works to my advantage. but more often than not, it leads to a lifestyle of inflexibility and lots of disappointment. so, like i said, i’m also learning about grace. and as i learn about and practice grace in my own life- there is growth.

i find that the seasons can be the most beautiful example of grace and change and growth. here in the PNW, i have seen snow and ice turn into gorgeous shades of pink and yellow. as spring arrives, the trees start to bud and flowers begin to bloom. bright yellow daffodils grow wildly on the side of the freeway and tulips add sparks of color wherever i look. and the beauty of it is that the change from winter to spring is a process. these flowers did not bloom overnight. it has taken months. and there are still trees that need to blossom, flowers to open up, and vines to produce fruit. change, with grace, is a journey.

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this next change is a big one. finishing my Master’s degree and learning a style and rhythm of life that does not include papers, research, and due dates will be an adjustment. what will i do with my time? what will my new rhythm be like? where will i live and work? as i finish up my internship in Washington, i begin to search out where God might have me in the next stage of life. and saying that, is a lot easier than doing it. i feel like i am constantly asking God for His lead in my next step. then i say, “amen” and start thinking about all the things i need to do. there it goes, i loose trust in Him the minute it becomes about me and what i need to do to make things happen my way… Lord, help me.

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i vividly remember a conversation i had with Kristin a few years ago. i shared with her that i couldn’t wait until the day when i had my life, my emotions, my relationships “all together”. Kristin paused, and with the most love and grace said to me, “you will never have it ‘all together’, my dear.” and she’s absolutely right. things are always changing, growing, and adjusting. i am continually learning to show up to my life instead of being frustrated and anxious about each process. i can’t plan the next steps. i don’t know what will happen. and that.is.scary. but i know that the Creator is in control. no matter what. and for that, i truly am thankful. because let’s be honest, i am a mess. i am not in control of my own life. and i will re-learn this throughout my entire earthly existence. but by the GRACE of God, i am alive from one day to the next. i learn more about the Creator and more about myself through each situation that presents change. and invites grace. and produces growth.


hope in the advent season

i really felt the need to write all this in a separate post, as it was unfitting with the last… but i spent some time art journaling and listening to worship music tonight and was feeling so heavy thinking about situations of dear friends. i spent some time in prayer, and as tears fell and my heart ached, i found myself thanking God for His faithfulness. times are really tough for a lot of loved ones in my life- but i believe with my whole heart that God is in control. i believe that nothing is impossible and nothing is too hard for Him.

this song by Tommy Walker has been one of comfort and one that has brought me to my knees. i pray that these words meet you where you’re at. download the song on itunes or listen to it on youtube, but please listen to it. it’s amazing.

Lord I run to You
No one else will do
Lord in troubled times I will run straight to You
Though my heart and flesh may fail
You’re my very present help
My tower of strength
My portion evermore

Lord I run to You
No one else will do
Lord You said we’d face trouble pain and fears
But to be of good cheer be of good cheer
For You have overcome overcome the world

I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from
It comes from You Lord
You are the Maker of earth and Heaven
And there is nothing that’s too hard for You

 

i got to thinking and reflecting on the advent season we are entering into. this is the season of Christ’s coming. and He came to bring HOPE. in this first week of advent, we are reminded of that. God did not have it easy coming into this world. but His coming meant hope for every single one of us.

and while times are more challenging than we could ever imagine, i pray that we would all cling to the hope of Christ. He absolutely loves and adores you. as it says in Ephesians 3, His love is longer, wider, deeper, and higher than we can fathom. i pray that you can grasp that love- a love that surpasses knowledge. and that you are strengthened in your inner being by His power and Spirit. God is in control. nothing is impossible for Him. and He LOVES you more than words can describe. may His Spirit dwell in you and bring whatever it is that you need deep in your soul. amen.


it’s december!

wow, it’s really here! i can’t believe we are now in the last month of 2010… what a year it’s been!

i wanted to start off with a planner update for the lovely month of december!

as i was drawing in more lines in my planner, my roommates were reminding me of how crazy i am to be hand-making this thing. and i have to agree with them. this project has been tedious, but it was something that i wanted to do and something that i am still determined to finish. although, i will admit- i have already decided what i’m going to do in NEXT year’s planner. and it does not require me hand-drawing lines :)

so, i also wanted to tell you that i finally bought some happytape!! it is beautiful and lovely and i am so excited to have it! i only bought a black set and a white set, because quite honestly i could not decide on what colors to get! i just want them all!! it’s bad. i also went to michael’s today and found some awesome stamps. all their stamps were 40% off and i stood in that aisle for a good 10-15 minutes. here’s a picture of the beautiful new things that i’m adding to my collection of art/craft supplies…

just an fyi- i’m pretty much obsessed with the mason jar stamp… i can’t wait to think of more things to create with it!

another great purchase- gift wrapping paper from anthropologie!

and next on my list…

i used the paper in my planner and also in my art journal. not sure if i’ll really use it to wrap gifts, but we’ll see! that time sure is getting closer! and as for the bakers’ twine- i have a number of ideas :) i think i’m going to have to get over to anthro this weekend…

well, my roommates and i are decorating our sweet little home on sunday. we are getting a REAL tree! and i know each one of us have some ideas of what we’d like to do. i will most definitely keep you all updated on that. that’s it for now!

 


fall art journaling…

first things first- i found this image on another blog (lox papers), i absolutely love it! and had to share it with you… isn’t the layout beautiful? i would love to learn how to do this!!

** only 11 more days of October! hope you get the chance/make the time to actually do some of these things :)

okay… on to the next thing:

as i promised in the last post, here are some art journaling pages for fall :)  i did this first page last year- but since i didn’t start this blog until the winter, i never found a great opportunity to share it before… but here is one of my all time favorite pages from my completed art journal:

“i want change and transition in my own life to be as graceful, peaceful, and beautiful as the transition from summer to fall…”

i wish the same thing this year and in this season. change and transition can be so abrupt and so brutal sometimes. my recent journal pages have a similar theme to what is written above… i know change is occurring in my life, and while i know it is a good thing- it’s hard to accept. and some of this change has happened so all-of-a-sudden and i don’t know how to do it all. but each day, i take a deep breath. and i have to remind myself that i can do this. that God has put me in this exact place for a reason…

i don’t know why God does what He does. i’m not sure why He takes us down certain paths that seem frustrating and pointless. but i know that He is in control- and thank goodness for that. so i trust in Him. i will try to make this transition one that is full of grace. i know that each day is new and that i choose whether or not to make the day worth it. but i am going to look at the changing season around me and find the beauty in moments: long-lasting or short-lived, frustrating or joyful, red leaves or green leaves or no leaves :) and i will be thankful for just that- a moment that allows me to pause and breath in good times and in bad.