belong to yourself

confession: i am a people pleaser. i’ve spent much of my life doing things to satisfy those around me. there’s a disease out there called the “yes virus”, it is the infection of the brain and the mouth in saying “yes” to too many things, without consulting any other part of the body, including the heart and soul. this disease is common, and i’m sure many of you relate… yes to volunteering 4 times a week, yes to coffee dates galore, yes to meetings, yes to Bible Studies, yes to leading different groups, yes to… blah blah blah. you get it, the list goes on and on.

please understand me when I say that all the above activities are good things. there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. but what happens when we are doing these things without any desire to? the answer seems simple: quit doing what you don’t want to do… but we feel this painful pressure from others to do it. our culture has this “all or nothing” mentality and sometimes it’s a lot easier to give in, than to challenge it. i challenge you to think of yourself, your emotional and physical well-being, before you say yes to one more thing. what do you really WANT to do? this subject of caring for yourself can be tough. hear me out- i’m not saying that we should be selfish and only do things that please us. that would be missing the point completely. but a definition of the word “belong”, is to have possession of. i have to ask myself if i have possession of my own life? or do others have possession of it?

overtime, i have learned that i have the power, the right, and the freedom to say no. i am in control of me. i realized that i need to own of my life. and ask God to graciously show me the path to a different way of life. i want to live out the God-give passions of my life and let that be my guide. i need to show up for my own life instead of allowing everyone else to run it. as i ask these questions of myself, i encourage you to do the same: do i ever say “yes” to my own needs? do i say “yes” to the desires of my heart or just the desire of others’? am i proactive in my life? or am i sitting around watching it pass by?

in taking the time to examine my own heart and life, i find that i have to remind myself over and over again that i belong to myself. the only other person i belong to outside of myself, is God. i need to take on freedom and let my heart be my guide. God’s ready for me to live the life i’ve been given- i need to show up.  think about what those words mean in your own life, what does it mean to belong to yourself? the words might mean something completely different to you. and i would absolutely love to hear from you. what i’ve shared is what it means for me right now, in this moment. but in 6 months, these words might take on a whole new meaning… i’ll keep you posted :)

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About kkb

i live for the Creator of the Universe and aim to honor Him in all that i do. as the contents of this blog space continually change with me, it remains to be a "outloud" journal for me to share my life with those that are near and dear to my heart. welcome to this adventure called life... View all posts by kkb

8 responses to “belong to yourself

  • Meghan

    In bible study this week we were asked if we relate to Mary or Martha in the story where Martha serves Jesus through working hard and frantically making sure everything is ready for him and Mary sits at his feet and waits for him.
    The world tells us to get anywhere in life we have to be Martha. We have to take advantage of every opportunity and extend ourselves to the limit in order to be successful.
    Luckily, we are called to wait on Jesus. We should be ready to act whenever he calls us, but we have to wait for his call.
    Praise Jesus!

    • kkbishop

      Megs,
      Thanks so much for your comment and the beautiful reminder of sitting at the feet of Jesus… Many times that is much easier said than done. I am trying to take these words to heart and live them out! Thank you!!

  • Kaycie

    beautifully said kris.
    i think people are quick to misunderstand this.
    i love that you used the word belong to define how we are to care for ourselves.
    to belong to our passions.
    desires.
    our own heart.
    and make sure those are in line with how we belong to God.
    i’ve been thinking lately about the word create and what that means outside of art.
    i realized there is an opportunity to create in everything we do.
    in all of our interactions.
    i feel like i am in a season of having to say yes to a lot of things.
    too many coffee dates. lunches. rezlife events. people in general. trying to make the most of this last semester.
    so i have come to the conclusion:
    in a season where i get the rare occasion to say no, i will look through the lens of what it means to create.
    and through that i hope i will be refreshed and belong to my passions and where God has me.
    Love you.

    • kkbishop

      Kace!
      Thank you so much for your comment. I truly appreciate you and all you bring to my life. Thoughts on the word create just might be one of my posts to come. Remember my journey through the word “beauty”? “Create” is one of the word’s I’ve been wrestling with lately. Let’s talk soon :)
      Continue to create in your own life and stand strong, for your own sake, when you truly need to say no.
      Love you Kace.

  • hapa casey

    again. purity. creativity. sensitivity. genuine-ity. how i adore you.

  • Porty

    mi piace.
    thanks for sharing…the people-pleaser rut is a hard one to get out of. that is, until you find yourself in one of those rare situations where no one seems to expect anything of you.
    this is where i’m at now, and i can say that it’s equally challenging to “belong to myself” when all of that tension is gone. i’m left hanging in the moment: a little bit of disorientation, amusement, panic, and flailing ensues.
    but i suppose the up-side a state of suspension is the freedom to harness momentum from the things > I < choose in order to re-orient myself. if i, too, can confess here, i must say i haven't taken this opportunity as i ought to have.
    spring cleaning. that's what i did today. not only for my apartment but also for my perspective. i've already broken away from the status quo, step one. now i have to pro-actively draw in the influences i want to define my new direction. i think this is my path to figuring out what it is to belong to myself…

    thanks for giving a phrase to what i've been wrestling with, keiko. i look forward to reading more of your blogs (i didn't know you even had one!)

    bacio <3 portable

  • Katie Matthews

    hi! i have loved reading your blog lately…this post especially has me thinking about how i never make time for myself and unhealthy that really is. i also love looking at the pictures you post of your artwork. absolutely beautiful =) you’re awesome!

  • baby steps « this adventure called life

    […] lives. having an awareness of myself and what’s going on in my life challenges me to “belong to myself” and to seek the truth in me. these baby steps and challenges throughout my life has created […]

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