expression of affection

times are definitely changing…

i’ve got graduation on the brain and sometimes i can hardly focus. for starters, i started writing this blog an hour before i had to go to class and take a test. i started studying for that test- about 30 minutes before i went to class… yeah, yeah, probably not the best use of time. cut me a break, i’m a pro at this going-to-school-thing! anyways, with graduation comes lots of change, which is why i can’t seem to focus. graduation means moving out of my apartment into a new place, re-structuring my friend group, acclimating to a new routine, and so much more. now don’t get me wrong, these are all exciting things! but it all just seems so strange. if those adjustments aren’t big enough, two of my best friends are getting married this year… talk about serious change! they are both marrying incredible men of God and i can’t wait to stand beside them and support this new chapter in their lives. (shout out to the soon-to-be Morellis and Potters!)

in the midst of all these changes, i have a few options. i can either pout about them and try to pretend that it’s not all happening. or i can embrace the changes with open arms, i can welcome them and accept the new challenges ahead of me. meanwhile, i go back and forth between feeling ready for change and not wanting to budge. and through the excitement and dread, i have found only one word to describe this part of my life- WEIRD. i am in a weird place in my life and that’s okay. i do not have all the answers. i have no idea what life will look like in 6 months and that’s all okay. it’s okay because i have God with me. i have the support of a Creator who already has the next steps of my life laid out for me. that gives me the ability to relax, knowing God’s taking care of me. and now i am able to embrace change, i can look at these next 3-4 months and hold them close with my arms, as an expression of affection.

it’s not easy embracing changes, treating them with affection and holding them close. but what it would look like if we welcomed change? if we were open to things that messed up our daily routine a little? i’m no professional at this, but i sure am trying to live this out. i hesitate when change comes my way, but i’m learning what it’s like to breathe and acknowledge that in most cases i don’t have any power over the situation. i’ve learned that worrying gets me absolutely no where and that no matter what, tomorrow will come. i can’t stop time. i can’t control circumstances. the next day, month, and year will show up whether i ask it to or not. i want to be in a place that is ready to face what comes next. that place is called openness and trust. and it might take me a few tries to get there. but we’ll see what the future holds and i am going to do my best in opening my arms and my heart to the unknown.


About kkb

i live for the Creator of the Universe and aim to honor Him in all that i do. as the contents of this blog space continually change with me, it remains to be a "outloud" journal for me to share my life with those that are near and dear to my heart. welcome to this adventure called life... View all posts by kkb

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